A Woman’s Guide to Bumble
Maybe you want to share outstanding toy with a best friend. When this is the case, use the next three tips to help you keep safe. Wash Thoroughly The good news is, washing a sex toy thoroughly with soap and water is more than enough to get rid of any risk of virus transmission. To go the extra mile, you can buy a specialty sex toy cleaner. Those cleaners help to keep toys free of dust and other dirty stuff you don’t want to come into contact with. Use Condoms If you can’t clean your sex toys after each use, or if you’re unsure of the cleanliness of someone else’s sex toys, you may want to consider using a condom. Just slip the condom over the dildo, butt plug, or vibrator the way you would put it on a real penis and the toy will be good as new. After each use, throw the used condom out and Voila! a easy alternative to disinfection. Use Non-Insertive Sex Toys You only need to use condoms if your sex toy is insertive. Should you want to have fun sharing sex toys but don’t want to worry way too much about cleanliness, then try using non-insertive sex toys such as nipple clamps, sex swings, and handcuffs. Those toys can lead to the intense pleasure of a whole ‘nother dimension with no insertion necessary. As long as you don’t get body fluids on these non-insertive toys, you will not have to worry about any HIV transmission. More Safety = More Fun Sex toys are an indispensable part of the modern-day sexual experience! Today’s advanced toys help give orgasms leagues beyond what unaided intercourse can achieve.
At the same time, though, this increase in the popularity of sex toys means that safety is more important now than ever. Go ahead and love yourself using some hot sex toys! If you decide to share with someone else, then take these steps to do so safely!ashley madison Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Sex Tagged in: Sex Toys I’ve been on the dating scene for a long time. My friends who are married or single not looking, love to be regaled with stories about dates – the good, the bad and the ugly. After telling these stories and talking to my friends, both married and single, I’ve discovered that I’ve learned a lot about dating. A LOT. Allow me to try to summarize what I’ve learned into convenient bullet points. Dating is not fun. I know dating should be fun. I’d like to make two points here. 1) I am over 40, an age when you know who you are and what you want. So, it is particularly disappointing to go on date after date, occasionally meet someone you really like, and have it all blow up for one reason or another.
۲) I am a very pragmatic person. Dating is a means to an end. Does that mean I’ve never had fun on a date? Of course not! Forgive the Forrest Gump reference, but dating is like a box of chocolates. Some of those candies are pure heaven and some are just gross and many are simply in between. Overall, however, dating is not fun for me. Meeting someone “organically” gets harder as you age. I’ve gone through periods where my goal was to meet men without the aid of modern dating tools, namely online dating or speed dating. I even had a “Year of Yes” (interesting read if you haven’t already) where I said yes to any activity that wasn’t dangerous and to people I might not ordinarily have considered. Nothing. Nada. Zero results. Last year I met a dating coach who told me that you should do everything all at one time to generally meet someone. He recommends online/app dating, meeting people in public, doing the things you enjoy doing, being open at the gym or grocery—basically all the advice you’ve already heard.
I have met so many wonderful people. Women, couples, and a few single men…very few. I am a cyclist, theoretically a male-dominated sport. Yet, I have met more nice women and couples cycling than I am able to count and very few eligible, single men. Nobody who has been out of the game for a decade or more understands modern dating. Everybody else I know who has been off the market for more than a decade, can’t understand why I can’t meet someone. Everybody else I know who has tried to date in the last decade says the same thing: “It’s just not as easy as it used to be”. Nope!
First of all, when we were in college, almost all of us were single and we were constantly with other single people. Now, I’m lucky to generally meet an age-appropriate single person…anywhere. When my mother and step dad met, dating was much simpler. There were no apps or online dating sites and, frankly, I think that made things easier. We now live in the Amazon.com era of dating.
۳ Principles Behind Falling in Love or Back into Love
You can sort through many screens of eligible candidates and “shop” for your ideal mate. The problem with that, you ask? Well, it creates an environment where people are always seeking a bigger, better deal. If you constantly search for something better, it’s hard to appreciate what you’ve already found. Online dating is a science. Some people think the science of online matching is, as Sheldon Cooper would say, hokum. While I do think there might be some validity to it, matters of the heart are not as cut and dried as science. There is, however, a science to being a good online dater. I update my profile in some way every 2 weeks or so.
I believe that doing so shuffles me to the top of the dating deck and I am more visible on the site. More views means a better chance of seeing and being seen. Online dating is also an art. I haven’t had much luck. One of my friends had great success on the same site. Once you’ve found a site that works, it’s important to develop a strategy to maximize your success. Over time, you learn how to spot the people who really aren’t worth your time – the players, the still married, the single but angry, etc. That, my friends, is an art you must master should you want to minimize wasted time. For example, as a woman, I find sending a message to someone I find interesting counterproductive. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “I’ve always been told that I should get out there and message!” My experience is that it never amounts to anything. Which will not be a successful strategy for everybody else, but it has saved me a lot of frustration. So, there you have it. The lessons I’ve learned in my 11 years as a date. This advice is not meant to be prescriptive, but rather to help you forge a dating template that works for you.
Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Dating Apps, Dating Sites, Online Dating, Social Media, Tips & Advice Tagged in: advice, Dating, dating advice, Online Dating, social media Who doesn’t want a big-screen romance? The kind that Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes could star in, that becomes a date night standby for new couples and a breakup cry movie for girls everywhere; sounds magical, doesn’t it? Of course, love in the movies—as we all know—isn’t “real” love. It’s crafted to make the viewer believe that failing in love is always that easy… even when things aren’t easy leading up to, and even sometimes during. For instance, in the movies, cheating is forgiven for the sake of true love. Distance never gets in the way, and “getting the girl” is paramount to everything else, like having a job or upholding friendships. The way I see it, there’s lot to learn about love from the movies, but most of it is what not to do in your real-world romances. Jerks Don’t Change My biggest pet-peeve with movie love is that lots of jerks tend to come out on top. An apology, some roses, and turn of phrase along the lines of, “It didn’t mean anything!” or “It will never happen again!” tends to change the tune regarding the anyone who’s been the subject of an idiot in a movie, and we’re all supposed to say, “Awww,” feel good, and go home happy.
However, in the real world, cheating on your partner or being a jerk is unforgivable. More importantly, it’s a personality trait that doesn’t just disappear with an apology. Once a jerk, always a jerk. And that’s the real-world truth. A healthy, happy life is one where you respect yourself, and according to the beyond diet community, respecting yourself starts with loving yourself. If you’re with someone who’s strayed or doesn’t respect you, you need to muster the self-respect and self-love to kick them to the curb. This isn’t Hollywood; it’s your life. And you deserve it to be a happy one. Happy Ending? How About A Happy Story True love doesn’t just end well, it plays out well from start to finish. We’re taught by movie love that the trials and tribulations of courtship are worth the pain as long as everything ties up nicely in the end, but that’s not the way the real world of romance works.
All might be fair in love and war, but that’s not to say that love and war should feel similar. Love should make you feel good, happy, and fulfilled. Once it—or the person giving it to you—stops doing that, it’s time to move on. If a situation makes you unhappy, chances are it will continue to do so. Don’t stay in a relationship that feels doomed just because you believe in fate; get out before it’s too late. Take Chances The movies don’t get it all wrong when it comes to love– one thing that movie romance has spot-on is timing. I think there’s no better time than right now to pursue who and what you love, and in the movies, people do exactly that. If a guy wants to ask out a girl, he does if. If a girl needs to confess her love for her best guy friend, she goes for it. It should be like that in the real world, too.
Seizing the moment is something we could all learn to do a little better. The Truth About Abs reviews, which overview the benefits of a successful diet-and-exercise regime, draw a nice parallel here.
How Not to Get to First Base.
Working out to get in shape is hard work. So is falling in love. But when you’re exercising, do you wait until you see a change in the mirror to go for another run, do a few more rounds of squats, or lift weights for another hour? No. You seize the moment and exercise, even if you’re not seeing the benefit yet. So, too, should you approach love. If you feel the need to give love—to your partner, someone you’re interested in, or even just a friend or family member—do it. A hug, a kiss, a complement, whatever you have the urge to express, that urge is right and you should act on it. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Tips & Advice Tagged in: Dating, dating advice, jerk, observations If history means that you’ve had to keep your love or attraction secret, intimacy between two people has been difficult to come by.
Sometimes even dangerous. Today, we live much freer and even have hookup apps like Grindr and, while everything isn’t perfect, there’s a lot more time and freedom to experience intimacy.https://topadultreview.com/ But it might be difficult to express and be intimate with others if you’ve grappled with societal and familial judgment. Struggles for LGBT people in building intimacy Kate Moyle, Psychosexual Therapist with six years experience, believes LGBT clients often struggle more in intimate relationships with family members, and that can make other close relationships more difficult. “I think that all couples can experience intimacy issues,” Kate said, “But, to be accepted by others aids self-acceptance and that is not always as easy or as simple sadly for people who have had to be who they are.” Any individual who struggles with family relationships can find intimate relationships more difficult and certainly will create attachment fears, Moyle adds. While all couples could eventually struggle with intimacy, societal influences create unique circumstances for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender people. Psychotherapist and Director of Loving Men, Tim Foskett works with GBT men on building intimacy skills and believes intimacy is something you create rather than find. In his Heartlands workshops, Foskett reviews some active relating skills that build intimacy including responding with empathy and sharing vulnerability. “Growing up LGBTQ almost always mitigates against developing these skills. In fact, to survive in a hostile family, school, and world we produce exactly the opposite of these skills,” Foskett adds. Building intimacy can be a challenge for people from a variety of backgrounds, but specifically for LGBTQ people, Foskett says, “even in adult lives with proper support structures, the residue of how we survived our childhoods and adolescence still profoundly affects how most of us relate solely to others.” How technology can help While many LBGTQ people across the world face isolation, technology has given many LGBTQ people a lifeline and a way to communicate with each other. Whether it’s online forums where young, closeted people can join under pseudonyms or apps like Grindr, new avenues of connection are opening up. But are these helping build intimacy? On the subject of apps and intimacy, Foskett says that the pros of apps like Grindr allow individuals to express their interests openly and directly. However, he adds: “the cons are that exist are so numerous that potential intimate partners out there that it are difficult to take the plunge and invest time and energy in developing intimacy with a particular person or people.” So are apps a hindrance or a help toward intimacy?
Kate Moyle is a therapist and also a partner of an intimacy app for couples (inclusive of LGBT people) called Pillow, that will be one of the only apps on the iOS store that encourages couples to bond over activities guided by a narrator, rather than just message each other. “I think Pillow is unique in the way that it offers real-time advice to follow along too, and that it takes all responsibility away from the listener to suggest, so they just listen and do,” Moyle said. Although the app involves kissing and other romantic things, the “episodes” don’t require anything explicitly sexual so; they could work well for a variety of people. Could Pillow be a new wave of technology that allows people to connect? Foskett mentions that app culture can be very focused on the external whereas intimacy is about emphasizing the internal — but at the end, it’s all about being willing to make a leap of faith with one another. “Ultimately, I think it’s about taking the risk to connect with someone beyond the superficial. This approach is a risk whether we do it on an app, in a nightclub or within a twenty-year marriage.” Foskett added: “Intimacy involves reaching out and taking a risk whatever the forum. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook9Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating Apps Tagged in: Apps, intimacy, Relationships Tinder is a dating app used by 50 million people. Although the range users keeps increasing, there is a general dissatisfaction in particular among women, who perceive that men predominantly use the app to look for casual sex. In this article we analyze Tinder’s technological features and identify them as the reason why serious, long-lasting relationships are rarely established via this App.
Once installed on your phone, Tinder allows you to see the profile of other users in your geographical area, and of your gender of interest. The profile allows you to upload a set of personal pictures and, optionally, a short description (1 or 2 sentences). At this point, you decide to like or dislike other users. This process takes on average about 4 seconds (1), after which users “swipe” to look at another, randomly (not really, there’s an algorithm behind it) selected profile. To be precise, according to a recent study women spent 3.2 seconds on profiles they found attractive, and 6.9 seconds on profiles they eventually disliked. Men, instead, spent more or less 6 seconds per profile, regardless of whether they found the potential partner attractive or not (1). Dozens of profiles are liked or disliked within a very short period of time. If two users like each other, this is considered a “match”, and the App allows them to start a chat, to get to know each other better, and eventually to schedule a date. Tinder can be used to find new friends, to look for a romantic partner, either for a long-term relationship or a one-night stand. However, there is a general discontent among female users, as men’s intentions appear to be skewed towards casual sex, rather than a potentially life-long relationship. This perception is supported by the evidence that about 50% of men use Tinder for one-night stands, whereas only about 15% of women use the App for the same purpose (2).
That said, the number of female users keeps increasing as much as their dissatisfaction, and far more than those who stop using the App. Although it may seem paradoxical, dissatisfaction may actually be the driving force that pushes women shopping for lasting relationships to keep using the App. When continuously faced with negative experiences, female users may try to exploit the full potential of Tinder to search for the man of their dream: there must be a good looking and nice guy, wanting me for more than a night. And even when there is one, that one may be outclassed by another man, waiting for you to “swipe” a few more times. As Xavier Greenwood nicely pointed out, Tinder was created as a “game”, and its users may easily suffer from addiction, exactly as if they would by playing a slot machine, over and over again. It does not come as a surprise though: this model not only allows Tinder users to become hooked on the App, but at the same time, the company keeps expanding its market, as users tend to remain ‘single’ for long periods. As mentioned, users can select their potential partners based on their looks. This feature, which made Tinder so successful, is certainly also the cause of its predominant use as a dating app for casual sex. Also in nature (i.e. offline), humans obviously pre-select their partners predicated on their looks.
Though, within the first interactions between two people, looks are not the only component that enters the game. The very first interaction, whether from a distance or close by, already involves body language (3), a chemical language (possibly based on the release of pheromones – this is a debated topic), and also the character of a person (4)can play a decisive part. Tinder suppresses everything else but physical attraction. In nature, all those additional layers of communication are used to understand whether a potential partner is interested or not. Successful courtship is based on multiple factors, and it is a complex behavior that – although it presents itself differently – is conserved through evolution. For instance, female fruit flies accept males only after a prolonged courtship display, which consists of a flying dance made with vibrating wings around the females in a sort of display of their abilities (5). As soon as the basic principles of courtship are lost, there are inevitable consequences for the social and mental dynamics of affected individuals. In the case of Tinder, the high number of rejections and the phenomenon of “ghosting”, i.e. when somebody stops answering messages and technically disappears, contribute to lower users’ self-esteem, in particular for men.
We previously discussed that women are the most disappointed when it comes to the discrepancy between their expectations and reality while using the App. However, is a man’s strategy oriented towards short, sex-centered relationships a natural behavior? Humans, as mammals, are in constant sexual competition with each other, even between the two genders – women’s reproductive resources to generate offspring are far more limiting than those of men (6). In other words, in mammals – and we are no exception – males can disperse their semen at low cost, whereas females invest a lot of resources during pregnancy, and therefore must be more selective about their partner, both from a genetic and a behavioral perspective.